Yep, I’m doing it. I am daring to plunge into the depths of one single soul. I am taking a risk to pull back the curtain of a very taboo topic for most. Yes, my friends, I am diving in to the “s” word!
The mystery word for today is, “single!” This word is widely used with various meanings. In today’s world we use it to order a specific size of our favorite scoop of ice cream, to depict a recording of one song to sell or to describe a baseball player only getting a first base hit. But we also use the word, “single,” to describe, as I’m sure you’ve already guessed, as someone who is without a significant other. Ya know, that friend who isn’t married or dating and you refer to them as your, “single friend.” Yep, that’s the “single” I am talking about here.
There are a plethora of books, blogs and articles talking about being single. There are family and friends that ask a bajillion questions regarding your all mysterious and yet lacking love life. I think one of my favorites is, “are you seeing anyone?!” I mean, what does that even mean?! Uh, yes, yes I am, I see people everyday and all day thank you very much! Ok, fine, I know that isn’t what they are implying but here’s a news flash for ya, if we are seeing someone, trust me, you’ll be one of the first to know!
I’ve been single since the day I was born. I didn’t go on one date at all in my teenage years. I didn’t get asked to any dances, never attended a homecoming or prom. I honestly don’t ever recall a guy ever actually showing any interest in me at all until many years after I graduated, and even then my friends had to tell me he was interested because I was completely oblivious (he was bad news, but that’s a story for another day)! I mean why would I even entertain the thought that someone would like me at all when it was usually one of my girl friends the guy was seeking after and wanting to pursue. Yep, I was that oh so lucky girl that got to hear her guy friends go on and on and ooooooon about my girl friends. Of course I would be encouraging and listen but inside my noggin I was thinking, “here we go again with my guy friends always interested in someone else other than me.”
After years of this, one would think that I would just became jaded and cynical and hardened in my heart to the fact that being in a relationship will EVER happen at all, but that is far from the truth. Sure, I have had my moments of jealousy and nights of ugly crying asking God relentlessly, “Why not me?! Do you see me down here doing the slow crawl in the single lane?!” Of course after I’ve dried my tears and come to my senses I usually get the same reassuring answer, “I see you, I ardently love you (yes, God talks to me like Mr. Darcy, don’t hate) and My timing is perfect.”
When I first started hearing those words years ago I can honestly say I was the least bit comforted. Let’s be real, those words can’t cuddle me!! But the more I not only heard the words, but listened to the heart of the One who was speaking them, the more I became willing to put my trust in this One who has so gently whispered into my tender heart.
Through trusting Him I have learned sooooo much in this single process. I have watched over and over how God has protected me from things I couldn’t see. Usually that protection came from my dear close friends or my amazing fam. So thankful for the community of people that I get to call family and do life with. Word to the wise: if you are going out on dates with someone or showing interest in someone and those who know you, or know them, mention to you that this person is not good for you or they have some issues that are throwing red flags and ask for you to stay clear and not be in a relationship with them, PLEASE listen. Listen even if you’re mad at them for saying something! They are most likely seeing things you can’t while so close to the situation. I say this from experience and from learning the hard way. So thankful for my gracious friends and family that still love me after all the stupid stuff I have done after them flying high their red flags of caution. I implore you, don’t throw caution to the wind.
Another thing I have learned (this one is a special bonus for the ladies) is to guard your heart. My spiritually daddy told me this years ago and I didn’t understand fully what it meant until a couple of years ago (I guess I was a slow learner). Guarding your heart is simply knowing who you are, knowing your worth and knowing your value. When you know that you are a precious gem, a princess, worthy to be loved and to be fully pursued that is a catalyst for you guarding your beautiful heart. When you become solidly aware of who you are, you will be less likely to look for another to fill a void in you, but you’ll be more apt to look for the one to enhance the greatness of who you already are.
My last lil tid bit is this (for both my ladies and gents): don’t search for Mr or Mrs Right….BECOME Mr or Mrs Right. Man oh man have I gone through the crucible of becoming!!!! I couldn’t even imagine letting someone into my mess a few years ago! I guess God really does know what He is doing, shocker! Do all you can now to become the person of character, integrity, honor, trustworthiness, graciousness and forgiving that you would want to find in another. Allow the process to happen to become these things that you are seeking out in your man or woman, you won’t regret it.
Whether you are single and waiting (got my hand raised and not ashamed!) or you feel you’re called to be single for your whole life, know this, you are not less than or insignificant. You have a place and purpose right here and now. Don’t wait “until then,” to do what you can do now. I think of all the things I have done, countries I’ve traveled to, places I’ve visited and I don’t regret for one bit the freedom that I’ve been blessed with to do all of those things and more. I am enjoying living in the moment and being present.
So today, right where you’re at, love others well and live bold. Walk with courage and dare to be vulnerable. Love and be loved. Become fully single.
Have a splendid day!!
Thought you may want to see the almost foot of snow we got here yesterday!
4 thoughts on “The “s” Word”
Thank you for writing this. I feel like you wrote it for me haha. I only got to see it because one of our mutual friends shared it so I thought why not read it and see what it’s about and it was about me.
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Thank you for letting me know! How awesome that a mutual friend shared it and you were blessed in reading it! 🙂
Very well written . And might I add, it’s so important to love yourself, and know your worth. That way it is so much easier to not accept bad behavior in a prospective suitor. God bless you sweet lady
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Thank you so much, Brenda for sharing your thoughts! You are an amazing woman! Blessings! Xoxo