What I Need

It’s often said, “Do what you love,” or “Follow your heart,” or “You be you.” I definitely have adhered to these coined phrases more than once in my lifetime and they have made my life richer and more meaningful. These are example phrases of encouragement that get us to live more fully alive and aware.

I am a huge proponent for living life in the moment and being very aware of my present reality. I enjoy taking in all that surrounds me and looking for ways God is expressing Himself through people, license plates (y’all it’s a real thing with me!! If I could tell of all the times words I needed to hear or scripture references to address something I was going through, have showed up “randomly” on license plates you’d be amazed!!!) or my most favorite expression, creation!

I get butterflies inside my tummy when God displays an incredible cloud formation, an intense thunderstorm, showers of rain or even beautiful silent rain (aka snow). Just recently He wowed me with two rare sightings in the sky; an epic sundog (See pic below) display over the Atlantic Ocean in the early morning and then a few days later a fire rainbow (sorry, for some reason it wouldn’t upload)!! I was beside myself with giddiness! He loves surprising me with what I need even when I didn’t know I needed it!!

I think there is a vast difference between having a need and being needy. Let’s just say I never want to be the needy person. Having a need, yes. Being needy, no.

The other day I was talking with a friend who was helping me process through a difficult situation. He asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks. I was stumped. I truly couldn’t respond. He asked me the question, “What is it that you want to happen?” I was shocked, didn’t have an answer. I felt paralyzed. I tried to think of an answer but nothing came. In that moment I kinda was panicked because I realized I didn’t know what I needed.

I sat on the question for a bit and some things came to mind but I was halted when I was greeted with a hidden lie that what I need isn’t important or if I expressed my need it would be seemingly selfish or deemed as insignificant. I couldn’t possibly express what I needed, innately it felt wrong. I had a fear that if I express what I needed that need would be unmet and unfulfilled. Come to think of it I think this is why, to this day, I don’t ask for specific gifts for Christmas or my birthday, because the thought of unmet expectations sounds too daunting. I am just so grateful when I do receive a gift, whatever it may be. Knowing that the person was thinking of me is more than I could have asked for.

As I was eagerly sorting through the question my friend had asked, mostly because I knew it would be the pathway to bring resolution to this difficult situation, it finally hit me what I actually needed. I needed to let go of my expectations. I needed to let go of my internal stipulations of how I wanted the matter to be resolved. This wasn’t easy, but it was definitely what I needed to do.

It took a little bit of warming up to this new way of thinking after my initial release of expectations. I could feel my heart softening and my body starting to be at ease. And wouldn’t ya know it, within less than 24 hours of me embracing and responding to my need, resolution came. It came in a beautiful way. It came on time. It came with grace. It came with honor. It came with understanding. It came with compassion. It came with care. It came with being heard. It came with needs fulfilled.

Looking back I kinda have to giggle. Here I was trying so hard to hold onto something thinking I was going to fill my own need for how I felt resolution should come, when really it could only be fulfilled by letting go. And amazingly, in the letting go, other needs were met that I didn’t even realize how much I needed. God is pretty good at this life thing!

I am still actively working on this whole “what I need thing.” To me, it still seems pretty vulnerable to say “I need _______,” especially with close friends or even family.

Although God has done a pretty fabulous job thus far at providing all I need, He still is ok with me verbalizing my need(s). We have not because we ask not.

•What do you need today?

•it’s ok to have a need

•your need is significant

•you having a need doesn’t make you too much or not enough

•It may be a need for you to communicate with your spouse on how you feel about a certain matter or even about the relationship.

•It may be a need for you to create a boundary.

•It may be a need for you to express how you like receiving love to your spouse or significant other.

•It may be a need for you to finally let go of something you’ve held on to for far too long.

•It may be a need to do something that is fun just for you.

Whatever you need to do, do it.

Resolution comes with reward.

Have a lovely and joy filled day!!!